thoughts.

I kno what's good, I know what's best
But my heart just wont rest
It keeps on feedin me lies
Even with my hardest tries
I cant change, I cant move
But a path I gotta choose
Theres one wide, straight and clear
and the car I'd get to steer
Then one skinny and rough
my heart whispers, "thats to tough"
But in the car a man I see
He says, "come follow me"
His body is beaten and worn
and His hands are all torn

He grips the steering wheel and says, "You gotta trust me"
I turn my face in doubt, "But Father, what if I cant see?"

Then I see a load in the back
its the faith that I lack
and the anger and doubt
that Id rather live without.
He takes it for me,
so that I can be clean
So I hop in the shotgun
knowing its nothing that I've done.
God pls drive my life, however you choose
Im giving it to you, or this battle Ima loose.
You kno what is best.
In your will I will rest.


Father, in your will I will rest.

What I want.

"But he was pierced for our transgressions,
he was crushed for our iniquities;
the punishment that brought us peace was upon him,
and by his wounds we are healed." Isaiah 53:5

Think about those words. They werent just picked out of the blue, God chose each one to go in that verse, so that generations upon generations of ppl could read them. periced, crushed, wounds. I just got back from watching Passion of the Christ w/ the bg youth (for the very first time) and I've been freshly affected by what my savior did for me. Let's face it, we all try and make ourselves look good. Nobody wants to think of themselves as a sinner. Everyday I come up with a new reason why I'm worthy to deserve stuff. It's like giving yourself Jesus points. When I do my devotions, my riteous meter goes up a little and I unconciously give myself allowance to be a little more leiniant with chores. We all have areas where we do that. It's so easy to decieve ourselves into thinking were 'good people', even tho we hear and kno the gospel that says were wicked sinners. Seeing this movie gave me a fresh reminder just how false that lie is. While I watched the crucifiction scene, I saw my face among those mocking Jesus. I saw it was ME who was whipping him mercilessly, and spitting on His face. I was the one that drove those nails through his perfect holy hands and held Him to that cross. With every sin I've committed, it was like one more blow that drove the nails in deeper. It's devestating when you really think about how much our sin, that we commit every single day, hurts God. How much pain and suffering it causes Him. How could He love such wretched sinners? I'll never fully understand the depth of His mercy. But what I do understand is that I want to live my life to glorify Him. I'll never be perfect, but I want God's grip on me to be so strong, that everything else I see looks worthless compared to what I have in Christ. That's what i want. What do you want?